My leg! My leg!
My leg!
Okay. My leg!
My leg! My leg!
My leg!
My leg!Aaah!
Th... That's me!
What the hell's going on?
It's time to return.
Look into his eyes.
I can't believe it.
MAN: Listen.
In almost all instances,
coronary occlusion results from arteriosclerosis,
a degenerative disease of the arteries
caused by development of fatty fibrotic deposits
in the arterial wall.
The endothelial cell damage
in the inside surface of the artery
causes a two-fold effect,
so the smooth muscle cells
lying deep in the endothelium
start to multiply and protrude
against the endothelium cell lining.
Fatty substances begin to deposit
around the muscle cells,
causing development of a fibrotic lesion.
Now, when the aortic or pulmonary arteries
are obstructed,
you're into the area
of myocardiac infarctions
or neurosis of the myocardium.
Got it, Chris? Yeah.
It sounds more difficult than it is.
Let's go over it again.
No, I think I understand.
When the aortic or pulmonary arteries
are obstructed,
you're into the area
of myocardiac infarctions or--
Dad...
I got it.
Chris, you can't "get" anything.
You have to know it.
What would the faculty at Northwestern say?
Dad, I'm in the 12th grade.
When I was your age, I was in my second...
year at Oxford. Year at Oxford.
Angiocratic menosis...
There's nothing that fascinates me more
than the human body,
and no part of the human body is quite as mysterious
and wondrous as the heart,
so let's start with the aorta,
and work our way through the entire system...
uh...
by which blood is distributed
through the body.
Damn!
Uh... uh...
but when the aortic or pulmonary arteries
are obstructed,
you're into the area of myocar--
Riveting.
Dr. Hammond.
Dr. Hartwood on four.
This is Mr. Racine.
He's 47.
Two days ago, he underwent
an aortic valve replacement.
How are you feeling today, Mr. Racine?
I don't know, doc.
My right leg kinda hurts and I'm burning up.
Mr. Racine has a low-grade fever
and is exhibiting tenderness
in his lower right calf.
Undoubtedly phlebitis.
In su--
In such cases,
an anticoagulant is prescribed.
For such minor incidents as this,
I would suggest--
75 milligrams of Synkavite.
Very good, Dr. Spellner,
but as death is not our objective here,
I would suggest 10 milligrams
of Coumadin.
Hernia.
It's all in the chart.
Uh, that rectangular thing
that Dr. O'Donald
is presently fondling.
Let's go.
Dr. Larkin, hospital policy prohibits the treatment
of patients without medical insurance--
This gentleman doesn't give a rat's ass
about hospital policy, and neither do I.
A hospital's a place
where people come to get well.
Um, scurry on. I'll catch up.
I know you think only rich people should get sick,
but it just doesn't work that way.
I'm sorry, Dr. Larkin, but there's nothing I can do.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Put him in there for me.
Keep shouting. There's a few patients you haven't disturbed.
I've got a man here complaining of chest pains.
He's got to be admitted right away.
She's got a man with no insurance.
I don't know where she keeps finding them.
Send him to County.
There you have it. What?
You know what the policy is.
No insurance-- Policy, shmolicy!
This man needs medical attention.
Remember how to do that, Jack?
You used to.
You used to be the best surgeon in this city.
Still am. Send him to County.
Good morning, all.
What seems to be the problem?
Oh, money and my patient's lack of it.
Dr. Larkin, if you want to carry this crusade any further.
bring it up again at the board meeting.
An have them kick my ass again?
If the shoe fits.
Mind if I join you on rounds, Jack?
No.
Sorry.
County will treat you fine.
Chris, I thought it was a great speech.
It started out about the heart
and ended up being about the brain... damage.
Oh, wait, there she is.
There she is, man. Lori
Shh, shh. Where, where?
All right, man. Now, all I have to do is ask her.
Well, you could split up the tickets
and give her one, and when she goes,
she'll be sitting right next to you,
and then let the fun begin.
No, she is great. She is so great.
No, I can't do it. No. I'm selling the tickets.
You can do it. You can do it.
Just walk up to her, look her right in the eye,
and say, "Lori, will you go with me
"to the concert tomorrow night?
And if not, I'll set fire to you."
How can she stand to be so close to her own body
without constantly feeling herself up?
Chris? Go.
Oh, right.
Do I look all right?
You look good. Breath.
No, no, no, Trigger. I can't. I can't, man.
If you could just go up there
and ask her out for me,
tell her I injured my voice
rescuing hostages or something.
Uh, hi.
Hi.
Hi, Charlie.
No, it's Chris.
Um, Lori, I was just wondering,
tomorrow night,
if, uh, you weren't doing anything,
that maybe we could go out,
or if you were doing something,
I understand, or even if you weren't doing anything
and didn't want to, that'd be okay.
Are you serious?
No, not really,
but it was just that, uh, well,
I wound up with these two tickets
to a concert tomorrow night
and I thought that...
that since you remind me so much of Heather Thomas--
Locklear.
Locklear, that, um--
Well, what are the seats like?
Front row-- Aisle or center?
Center. Look,
sorry I canceled our date for tomorrow night, babe,
but my parents are forcing me to go to my grandmother's for dinner.
It's a really big deal to her.
Well, it doesn't matter, Rick.
I'm going to the concert with, uh...
Uh, Chris. Hey, Rick.
Him?
He considers me more important than his grandmother.
Right, Chris?
Right. Nothing. Nothing.
She means nothing to me, right, Trigger?
Hates her.
Fine, if that's the way you want to play.
Larry, I have been in your office
for 15 minutes.
Don't keep me waiting.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ginnie.
Mm.
I was making rounds with Jack.
His wife is dead,
so he can take all the time he likes.
Hello, Jack. It's been a while.
Yes, far too long, Ginnie.
Dear, I hope you're going to take my advice
and make Jack the next Chief of Staff.
Well, I may just do that. He's a good man.
Lord knows they're hard to find.
Well, I'll...
I'll be happy to serve this hospital
in any capacity you see fit.
Either of you.
Hmm.
Excuse me. Dr. Armbruster?
May I interrupt you for a moment?
Yes, of course. I'll be right back.
Jack, entertain my wife in your patented manner, will you?
I shall make the attempt.
Modesty, thy name is Jack.
Hmm.
I wonder if you know what you could do
to really entertain me.
Well, wait a minute. Let me think.
Why are you always so shy?
Why are you always so married?
You were performing a very delicate operation
in a dream I had last night.
Then I suppose I'd be wrong to bill you.
You had very sure hands.
I wonder what it would be like if I were awake.
Most operations are best performed
with the patient asleep.
Ah. Yes.
Dear,
he definitely has the ability
to handle people.
I think he's a born administrator.
Jack, you should
appoint this woman your campaign manager.
Well, I would
if I was campaigning for Chief of Staff.
Instead,
I remain quasi-available and fashionably aloof.
Oh, that's good.
That's very good.
Aren't you late for surgery?
Yes, I am.
Well, then.
Oh. So cool.
You want to stick it in Tisdale's lunch for a laugh?
No, I can't do this. I'm sorry, I...
This is wrong. No, it's, no.
No.
Dr. Hammond.
You seem to be hoping
this frog will commit suicide.
I suggest you overcome
your delicate sensibilities
or fail class for the day.
Do I make myself clear?
Crystal clear, sir.
Attaboy, Hammond.
Start at the gizzard,
slice this sucker open,
and scoop out the intestines.
Piece of cake.
Kill, kill, kill, kill.
Ka, ka, ka, ka.
Kill, kill, kill, kill.
Ugh.
Sorry.
Blood pressure is too low.
You want him on dopamine?
I just want his pressure up.
Aye-aye, captain.
Let's get him stable.
I want to get him off the bypass.
You're in a good mood, Jack.
I had to tutor Chris
for his biology midterm,
and then spent the rest of the night and the early morning
getting the equipment forecasts for this bloody hospital.
No pun intended. Let's come off bypass.
NURSE: We're off, Dr. Hammond.
When you're Chief of Staff,
do I call you chief?
"O, Exalted One" will do.
We're losing one hell of a surgeon, Jack.
You're right.
What do you say we go out for a couple of drinks tonight?
You never socialize anymore.
You haven't been out of the house
since Jan passed away.
No, I don't think so.
Close for me, please.
50.5!
Way to gut it out, Hammond. You're pacing yourself.
I like that kick you're using.
Hey, it's the Hammond Kick!
Hammond Kick, huh?
Well, it's official.
Hammond, you're on anchor at the Districts tomorrow.
Anderson, you lead off.
Come on, Coach. It was a fluke.
You can't make Hammond anchor.
I just did.
Hit the showers!
I'm warning you, Hammond.
You're getting in my face
too often.
You better watch your step, dickhead.
Look, Rick, come on. We're on the same team.
What do you say we just call a little truce, okay?
Okay, for the good of the school, asshole.
Hey, Rick. What?
Nice race.
Look, Rick, whatever you want, okay?
Come on, Rick. Leave him alone.
He's a good kid.
Yeah, well, you better watch your step,
dickhead.
That guy is huge.
I mean, what is it?
A glandular disorder or what?
I don't know,
but sooner or later, he is going to freak,
and I wouldn't want to be here
when he does.
I think there should be a size requirement
for high school.
Oh, God!
How bad?
The worst.
Look. A "C."
A "C"? A "C."
I am dead meat.
I am sitting on a hook, rotting in the sun.
Flies are, like, gathering around me.
I am dead meat.
For what?
For a "C"?
My dad would give me his porno collection
if I got a "C."
A "C"? I cannot believe a "C."
TRIGGER: Hey, thanks for the ride, Chris.
Good luck at home.
Hey, man, there is no good luck at home.
Only death by lasers
emitted from my father's eyes.
Ah, you'll get into a med program somewhere.
Hey, man, what's that?
That's my Uncle Earl.
He's been staying with us
for the last couple of days,
stinking up the house.
He's leaving today.
Probably on his way to Venus.
Hey, Earl, how you doing?
Pretty creepy-looking to me, there, Trigger.
Yeah,
he's an archaeologist.
Creepy is his life's work.
Hey, listen, I gotta get home
so my father can end my life.
Oh, wait, let me see if I can get him
talking about his brain transference serum.
It could make med school obsolete.
Brain transference serum.
He was talking about it last night.
He's got it in those boxes up there.
The one marked
"Brain Transference Serum."
You gotta keep an open mind about it.
You should see the scar on his leg.
Hey, Earl,
can you tell my friend
about how the Indians operated on your leg
and you didn't feel anything?
No.
Great talking to you, Earl.
I'll get him to talk about it.
Just wait.
Nah. Forget it, man.
Look, I'll see you tomorrow,
and if brain transference has anything to do
with having your head handed to you,
you and your Uncle Earl
can come on over to my house and watch.
See you tomorrow.
Later.
ANNOUNCER: MTV.
It's an attitude.
MTV.
I'm a real wild one.
WOMAN'S VOICE: Sit tight and listen carefully
while I...
Hi, man. I thought you were my dad.
Nope. Taller.
Uh, Tabasco sauce?
Brain transference serum.
Oh, shit.
Trigger, what are you doing?
Hey, dude, I went through a lot of trouble
siphoning this stuff off from my uncle
without him seeing it.
Now, we can at least try it.
Yeah, right.
I'm gonna try this stuff.
Come on.
No.
You're not gonna try anything.
Hello, Seymour.
I have a little present for you.
All right, come on. Give it to me.
Come on, this stuff looks like cooking oil.
Yeah, well, let's see what it can do.
Well, be careful, be careful.
Trigger, come on.
This is stupid.
Trigger, how did that happen?
Did you ever see The Emerald Forest,
where the guy,
he swallows some stuff and turns into a panther?
No.
Same principle.
Hey, did either of you notice anything unusual
about Seymour and Sparky today?
No. No.
Oh, gosh, it's my dad.
I'm out of here.
Terrific.
Come on, Trig.
Just stay for dinner and lessen the blow.
Will you relax?
I don't see what the big deal is.
You just blew an assignment.
Yeah, I know.
It's a big deal. You know my dad.
Look, you don't want to be in med school anyway.
Now, if I was you,
I'd tell the Ayatollah to get off my back, Jack.
Dr. Hammond!
What a delightful surprise.
Isn't it?
Uh, Trigger, you're staying for dinner.
Well?
How'd you do, Chris?
You know, doc, that's a great jacket.
It really brings out...
The color in my eyes.
Yeah, right. Chris?
Um, the grades aren't being posted
till Monday,
so I don't know.
Monday?
I was hoping you'd hear before the weekend.
Yeah, I know, but, uh...
Oh, listen, Dad, I'm running anchor
in the mile relay
at the District Championships tomorrow.
Well, good.
Be sure to mention that
to the guy from Northwestern
on Friday.
Dr. Hammond, I'm leaving in a minute.
The spaghetti's nearly ready, the bread is in the oven,
and the salad's in the fridge.
Aba-daba-daba-dab.
See you later, Phyllis.
What?
Right.
Dad, I need to talk to you about that interview
with the guy from Northwestern.
How about that interview with Lori Beaumont?
Well, you re-confirmed it, didn't you?
Uh, yeah.
Damn right. I mean, let's face it. You lucked out.
She's major league action.
I didn't think you had a prayer.
You said I was the ultra dude.
Yeah, but I didn't mean it.
I mean, she's used to going out with guys
that look like a cross between Don Johnson
and Sylvester Stallone.
Oh, yeah? So what does that make me?
Well, you're more of a cross between Sylvester Stallone
and Don Knotts.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're like a cross between, uh,
Don Knotts and Sylvester the Cat
with, like, maybe a lint ball mixed in
for IQ purposes.
Hey, dude, after what you got on that biology presentation,
I don't think you qualify
to be making IQ judgments.
I mentioned that jacket already, haven't I?
Herringbone or something?
What the hell did you get?
Oh, oh, oh, you mean the actual grades.
Well, those are gonna be posted on Monday,
but, um, Trigger is...
Trigger's talking about the...
Temporary! Temporary! They can change at any time.
They're just temporary grades,
and those are gonna, like, change without notice,
so for the time being, I...
It may appear that I... may have gotten a...
A "C."
A "C." What actually--
A "C"
TRIGGER: So, uh, thanks for the chow, Chris,
and glad I could be of help.
Doc, again, great wardrobe.
Thousands of herrings
must have died for that jacket.
A "C"?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I really...
I tried my best, but I'm just not...
Hammonds just don't get "Cs."
Chris?
Dad?
I don't fucking believe it.
Chris?
Dad?
TRIGGER: Oh, shit.
Ugh! Ugh!
Are you in there?
Yeah, Dad.
I'm old.
I don't believe it.
Uh...
All right, just stay calm.
There's bound to be a very...
rational...
scientific...
explanation for all of this.
There is.
You put Tabasco sauce
in your Bloody Mary.
Oh, God.
Dr. Hammond...
I feel a little responsible about what's happened here.
Uh-huh.
See, it started out, we were fooling around
with my uncle's brain transference serum--
There's no such thing as a brain transference.
No sweat.
Uh, I seem to remember
my uncle saying something about it not lasting very long.
I can ask him, uh, but he's gone.
Well, not dead.
Just gone.
Listen to me, you little asshole.
I don't care where your uncle is,
or what you have to go through to find him,
but you go right now
and do whatever the hell you have to do
to get us out of this thing,
and if you don't,
you'll never finish puberty.
Do I make myself clear?
Oh!
Sorry, Dad.
Trigger.
Oh, boy. Oh, no.
Dr. Hammond?
Is that you?
No. Uh, yes.
I was just wondering if you'd seen my cat.
No.
No. Damn cat.
Uh, well, then, Walter,
I wonder, uh...
could I have a word alone with your fine boy, Clarence?
Sure.
I'll see you at the front door!
* Well, all around town My name is mud *
* But I can't help it 'Cause it's in my blood *
* I make it no secret It's plain to see *
* I jump on anything That's looking good to me *
* I can't quit it
* 'Cause it comes to me Naturally *
* I like this one over here
* And I like That one over there *
* Bring me a dozen more I just don't care *
* And when I'm finished And I'm all out of breath *
* Bring me another Who can love me to death *
* I can't quit it
* 'Cause it comes to me Naturally *
* Open the door
* And I will walk right in
* There's so much to do In so little time *
* Lovin' you
* Is all I'm dreamin' of
* I can't quit it
* 'Cause it comes to me Naturally *
* Open the door
* And I will stroll right in
* I can't quit it
* 'Cause it comes to me Naturally *
* On the threshold
* You want to play with fire
* I can feel the heat
* Your body's filled With desire *
Hello.
Whoa!
What's up?
What can I get for you?
Drinks. Uh-huh.
I'll have a martini.
You want that on the rocks?
No, in a glass is fine,
and could I have some ice with that, please?
And what would be your finest champagne?
Louis Roederer Cristal,
and you're not getting any.
Yeah.
This sucks.
I'm gonna cruise the joint, gets me a woman.
* I can feel your passion
Any of you guys know each other?
* You can feel tension
* You've got frostbite
* The world's a chilly place
* Mr. Casual
* The tears Are running down your face *
* Oh
* Desperado
* You're living in the past
* I feel it in my chest
* On the threshold
* You want to play with fire
* I can feel the heat
* Your body's filled With desire *
* Oh
* It's a cold war *
Well, well, well.
Who have we here?
We have... moi.
Me.
When I saw you a moment ago, a shiver ran through my body.
Do you think I need something to warm me up?
You mean like a hot chocolate?
I was thinking of something
a little more personal and a lot more private.
Private, as in just you and me?
Can't think of anyone else I'd like to invite.
Okay.
Okay?
Uh, the place is full of nuns.
Hello, there. How you doing?
The name's Trigger, as in horse,
as in "hung like."
Uh, this is...
my son's friend.
Oh.
Yeah, see, me and him,
we're inseparable.
Yeah.
The age difference doesn't matter
because I think like an adult,
and I also do other things like an adult.
Yeah. Um, I have to go.
It's been charming
to meet your son's friend.
The charm was all mine. I'll be seeing you.
Yeah, sure. Any time.
Any time?
Sure.
Let's rock and roll.
* Everybody have fun tonight
On the house!
* Everybody Wang Chung tonight *
* Everybody have fun tonight
Whoo!
...and I'm Wally.
We have some lines open right now,
so give us a call.
All right, you're on the air.
MAN: Uh, oh, hi, Wally?
Yeah, hi.
I'm a first-time caller.
All right. Thanks.
COMPUTER VOICE: The key is in the ignition.
The key is in the igni...
Now, what do you mean by that?
"Leave it or live with it."
Well, you know, like an alligator...
Some alligators have teeth that can kill an adult.
What happens when the good guys have no gun...
The key is in the ignition.
Right, right.
Now, that's the type of moronic answer
that I get every morning here.
Aaah!
Oh, shit!
The key is in the ignition.
What the hell have you done to me?
Dad, could you hold it down a little?
You're drunk.
No. I'm dead.
You're damn right you're dead.
Jesus, Chris, look at you.
You've been out all night
doing God knows what
in my body. All right!
Using my cash,
probably boozing it up,
and where in the hell did you get the money
to pay for an outfit like that?
I only had $20 in my wallet.
Well, Dad--
My credit card. My...
You used my credit card!
Get in the house. You are grounded...
for the rest of your life!
Yeah, all right! Lean on him!
Up yours.
The key is in the ignition.
Do you mind? I'm on a diet.
Oh.
Sorry, sorry. I forgot.
Hey, good morning, Dr. Hammond...
or Chris.
Whatever.
Hey, what happened with Uncle Earl?
You look like a geek.
What about Earl?
Well, it seems there's no phones in the Zocolo rainforest,
but I did leave a message
with the chief of their local police,
and Uncle Earl should be getting back to us pronto!
Well, pronto isn't good enough.
Don't worry. I'll find him.
Chris,
um, here's your excuse for missing work today.
I want you to call my...
I want you to call my office
at precisely 9:00 a.m. and read this note, okay?
Hey, Dad, where're you going?
To school.
What?
Hey, Dad! Come on! You'll wreck everything.
What are you doing?
Chris, it's the best thing.
See you later, Chris!
Dad, come on!
Come on, you can't do this!
That's my school! You'll ruin everything!
This is the best thing, Son. Trust me.
You can't go to my school,
for God's sake! Come on, stop!
Now, I don't want you leaving this house
under any circumstances
until I get home.
I'm not gonna let you do this! All right! Kill your own son!
All right. Have a good time.
Dad!
* Dude looks like a lady
* So never judge a book By its cover *
* Or who you gonna love By your lover *
* Love put me wise
* To her love in disguise
LORI: No! I told you already.
You had your chance.
I'm going to the concert
with Chris Hammond.
Come on, the guy's a dork.
What's he got that I haven't got?
Excuse me, son.
A Jaguar, for starters.
Excuse me.
I'm gonna park there, all right?
Uh, may I advise you not to do that, sir?
That's Rick Anderson.
Never heard of him. Come on, let's go.
I wouldn't do that, sir.
Chris, are you all right?
You look kind of funny.
Um, ah, yes, yes.
I'm really looking forward to the concert tonight.
What concert?
Are mag wheels optional on the XJ6?
See you.
Does this sort of thing happen...
often?
Doc, it's really not cool to scam on your own son's date.
Look!
* Somebody
* Somebody put something In my drink *
* Somebody
Dr. Hammond,
it's nearly 9:30.
You should be at work.
Oh!
Yeah.
Uh, hi, Norma.
Yeah.
Uh, this is Chris...
uh, Chris' father, Dr. Hammond.
Norma, I'm gonna be unable to come to the hospital
for the next few days
because I'm suffering
from an acute attack 120-hour flu
and a very severe case of laryn...
laryngitis.
Uh, yeah.
Please refer all my calls and appointments
to Dr. Roger Hartwood.
Thank you.
The main bronchi...
are distributed
around the whole circumference
of the tubes.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
What, did you fart?
Move.
Stop that!
"Stop that! Stop that!"
Excuse me, is that seat taken?
No, we saved it just for you, dude.
Well, thank you.
Well, well, good morning, Hammond.
I do apologize for dragging you in here so early.
That's quite all right.
Hammond,
do you think you have a strong grasp
of the respiratory system?
Very strong.
Well, then, up to the board.
Okay.
Well, Dr. Hammond says
he has a strong grasp of today's material.
We'll give him a chance to prove it
by sharing
his vast knowledge of the respiratory system
with us.
Hammond,
why don't you complete the diagram
for all of us?
Okay.
Well,
your sketch work here is a bit remedial,
although it does have
a certain kindergarten charm.
The main bronchi and its branches
present only irregular cartilaginous plates.
Oh, Dr. Armbruster? Dr. Armbruster?
Dr. Hammond just called,
said he wasn't feeling very well,
wouldn't be coming in.
Well, that's a first. It must be serious.
You know, I'm having lunch out that way.
I'll drop by and check on him.
Dr. Hammond?
Uh
I'm going out for some groceries.
I will be back in about an hour.
* Whoo
* She's only 15
* She's the reason The reason that I can't sleep *
* You say illegal
* I say legal's Never been my scene *
* Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah!
* I try like hell But I'm out of control *
A quasi-humorous side-note
to this election
is that Martin Van Buren,
who'd been born and raised in Kinderhook, New York
and was known as "Old Kinderhook,"
issued campaign materials
shortening "Old Kinderhook" to "O.K."
"Martin Van Buren is O.K.,"
which is where we get the term "okay."
Thank you, Chris, for that footnote.
Can anyone tell me what effect
Martin Van Buren's election
had on the country?
Anyone else?
The effect of this election on the country
was fascinating.
CHRIS: Yeah! Whoo!
* There she was For all the world to see *
Whoo! Whoo!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Whoo! Whoo!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Jack?
Dr. Armbruster.
Looks like you're feeling
much better.
Yeah, I was just checking the light bulb.
Good.
That's good.
All right, then.
Well, we'll see you back at the hospital
in say, uh...
oh...
an hour.
Right.
Bye.
Shit.
What we're doing here, folks,
is trying to define the distance between two points.
This is the formula we use
to define that distance.
Who did that?
He did.
Holy shit. Is that Hammond?
Hello, Dr. Hammond.
Nice Jeep.
Your son's?
Uh, no, it's mine.
Uh, his.
I mean, I just, uh...
keep it around to, you know...
haul stuff.
It's great.
You like it?
Yeah, I used to have a '78 just like it,
only it was black.
Yeah, it was jacked up,
had these great ol' roll bars
and heavy-duty shocks, four on the floor.
Great.
Sir...
This is a complete overhaul job. I did it myself.
I got it from some chick
who completely burned out the transmission.
Sir, you're chewing gum.
Oh, yeah. You want some?
Oh, no, thanks.
I, uh... No, thank you.
Okay, listen, um...
I gotta bail.
I'll catch you guys later?
Bail?
Good morning, Dr. Hammond.
Hey, what's happening?
Ooh.
Good morning, sir.
Hey.
Good morning, Jack.
Que pasa?
[BABIES CRYING, PEOPLE SHOUTING]
Take him to Ward Three.
Out of the way, out of the way.
I'll need a tracheal surgeon.
Dr. Hammond, Dr. Hammond,
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Could you look in on your bypass--
I can't. No, I'm sorry. I've gotta go to the office.
Um, isn't that Bob over there?
Where did you go off to?
I made some phone calls.
I've now left messages for Uncle Earl
with every tribal chief in the hemisphere.
He'll turn up.
Or your ass.
So what are we eating?
I don't know you, doc.
No offense, but get away from me.
Trigger,
that is loaded with nitrates.
I like nitrates.
You might as well
be licking the floor of a slaughterhouse.
Goodbye, doc.
I'll see you at graduation.
Trigger, listen.
It's rough out there in the real world.
I know.
I'm trying to get Chris into a good college,
and you should be thinking about that also.
You're both seniors now.
Later, you can have all the fun you want.
When?
Well, congratulations, doc.
You made it to total outcast
in just three hours and 42 minutes,
beating a record set just a few decades back
by a young Charles Manson.
Dr. Abrams, call 6105. Dr. Abrams, call 6105.
Dr. Hammond to Nursing Central. Dr. Hammond to Nursing Central.
Uh, no calls, no visitors, okay?
I'm gonna be real busy.
Testing...
Shit.
How are you feeling today?
"I'm not so bad, th-th-thank you."
Now, then.
I have some bad news for you, Mr. or Mrs. Matsil.
Jack?
Yeah?
I was hoping
you could do rounds for me today.
Rounds of... rounds of... rounds of what?
Great rounds.
Well, uh...
Dr. Hammond? Mr. Racine. He's over there.
Who?
Uh, Racine.
We're supposed to see him.
Uh...
yeah.
Dr. Hammond?
Hmm?
Oh.
Mr. Racine.
Oh, hi, doc. Hi.
Doc.
What's your name?
Me, sir? Yeah.
It's O'Donald, sir.
Yeah, I know that, but your first name.
You wanna know my first name?
Yeah.
It's Mike, sir.
Mike?
Okay, why don't you take this, Mike?
Subject, age 47,
underwent an aortic valve replacement.
Phew! God!
During post-op,
he complained of pain in his lower right calf
and exhibited low-grade fever.
Phlebitis was diagnosed.
What do you think we should do?
You want my opinion?
Uh-huh. Sure.
I think...
I think we should increase
his daily dosage of Coumadin
to 12 milligrams.
Coumad... Coumadin? Coumadin.
Uh, does this sound right to you guys?
Anybody think that's a bad idea?
No. No.No.
Sounds good to me.
Okay.
That's it.
12 milligrams of Coumadin.
And don't worry, Mr. Racine.
We're not gonna let you die.
Are we, guys?
No. No.No.
God, this is great! I love it!
Okay, who's next?
Hey, come on. You take a crack at this one.
He's got a machine.
Yo!
Come on. Look.
Well, it's a good thing
you're going home now, doc,
while there's still a few kids
who like you.
They'll learn to like me
once they get to know me.
Yeah, well, most of these kids
will be out of here in four years.
Hey, Chris, good luck today.
Good luck?
In the track meet.
No, doc.
Don't even think about it.
Why not?
Because--
In this body, I can run like the wind.
Damn!
Doc!
In his latest report,
Mr. Taylor made a similar conclusion.
In this particular case,
the financial burdens on the hospital
might cause a budgetary strain.
I believe this is something
we should all think about,
and in regards to the Sudbury matter,
they did find that the low pyroxin levels
caused the rate of oxidation
to produce, uh, sulfitanic goiter,
manifesting the comprising ganglia
of the lower autonomic nervous system,
which would,
in all probability,
produce, uh, solvetania.
Well, actually, that, uh...
that concludes my report.
Um...
Uh...
Very interesting, what you were say...
um, what you were saying,
and, uh...
I think that a lot of...
a lot of good things can be, uh...
said about the stuff...
that, uh, that guy said,
and, um...
really.
Very interesting.
Very interesting, what we have here.
Right?
Great.
Thank you, Jack.
You bet.
Right, now, uh...
well, I think we should, um...
send Dr. Selwyn's proposal to committee.
Do we have a second for that?
All right, fine.
May the record show...
that Dr. Gilden
seconded the motion.
Uh, let's...
Oh. Now, let's see
what's next on the agenda.
Oh, yeah.
The matter of, uh... of indigent care.
Uh-oh, here it comes.
Now, perhaps we can be brief.
The materials are in front of you.
I think they speak for themselves.
Do we have a motion to--
You certainly do.
I thought we might.
Uh, Dr. Larkin, do you have a seconder?
All right, then, uh... next item.
Now, wait a minute.
Hold on. You haven't even thought about this.
You've got people out there who are sick and dying,
and their only sin is that
they don't have the money to get in here.
Now, I always thought
that our first obligation as doctors
was to help people who need medical attention.
We are shirking that duty.
Now, I realize that this is a private hospital, but surely--
Dr. Larkin,
we've been through all this before many times,
and you know the insurance rules
are very strict, and they're not unreasonably--
Will you at least send it to committee?
We can't send everything to committee.
Do you have a second? Now, you have to have a second.
Do you have one?
Oh, come on.
Are you all so afraid of offending Dr. Armbruster
that you won't send this to committee?
Well, Dr. Larkin, you are,
as they say in the vernacular of one of your indigent people,
you're shit out of luck.
Hey, I'll second it.
Screw the insurance.
Well, Jack,
you're full of surprises today.
First the gum and the...
the cigarette trick and the little fire
and now this, huh?
Well, let the record show
that Dr. Hammond seconded the motion.
Dr. Larkin,
it would appear that your issue is going to go to committee.
Hey, are we out of here of what?
Jack?
Jack.
Uh...
you were a revelation.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Oh, sure, Amy.
"Amy"?
Whoa, let's see some I.D.
What do you mean?
Well, no, I mean, I just can't believe
that that was you back there.
I mean, since when did you start taking sides with me?
Well, it just seems to me that if people are sick,
then you have to try and help them out.
I mean, screw the insurance.
It's part of the hypocritical oath, isn't it?
Hypocritical oath.
You know, that took a lot of courage,
what you did in there, and frankly,
I... Well, I didn't think you had it in you.
Ah, it was nothing.
Nothing, huh? To say that in front of Armbruster?
It took a lot of guts,
even if the Chief of Staff job
wasn't on the line.
Big balls, Jack. Big ones. Huge.
Dr. Hammond, you're a godsend.
I can't stabilize him. He's in VTACH.
Well, I... I'm not Dr. Hammond.
His rate's increasing,
and I think he's going into VFIB.
Whack him one! Hit him, Dr. Hammond!
Did you hit him yet?
Yeah.
Oh, God, I'm getting nothing.
Whack him some more.
But I don't even know him!
Beat on the son of a bitch.
Beat him hard. Hurry, we're losing him.
All right, right now.
Let's move, people. He's in VFIB.
Come on, give me the backboard right now.
Stand by with one amp of bicarb.
All right, I need one amp of bicarb.
I'm standing by.
No response. Let's defib.
All right, stand clear, and clear!
Hello.
Good to see you.
How are you?
Good running.
Good luck.
Don't need it. Right.
Runners to the block.
Take your mark.
Set.
All right, Rick! Way to gain! Hammond! Hammond!
Come on!
Hey. Get to your mark. Go on.
Right.
Take it easy!
Rick's got us a nice lead!
Don't blow it, asshole.
Nothing to it, Hammond!
It's a cakewalk!
Get 'em, guys! There you go!
What are you doing, Chris?
Come here!
Come back here!
Chris!
Hammond, get back there!
Come on, Hammond! Come on!
Just beat one team, Hammond!
Just one!
Come on, Hammond!
Use the kick! Use the kick!
Where the hell is the Hammond Kick?
Did I win?
Close.
Uh, you dove 10 yards too soon, doc.
You still haven't crossed the finish line.
Oh.
Hi, Dr. Hammond.
Hi, Jack.
Hey, you guys all right?
Yes, sir. We're all right.
Hey, I've got jumper cables.
Great.
I wonder what Chris is doing right now.
Hey, dickhead!
Uh-oh.
Here comes more pain.
Your ass is mine.
I gave at the track.
Just agree with him.
Agree with him that you're a dickhead.
Come on, buddy, let's go!
Right now.
You wanna have a fist fight?
Oh, you got it, dork vomit.
"Dork vomit"?
Apologize.
Why? I didn't do anything wrong.
What does that have to do with it, doc?
He can mangle you. He's only a kid.
So are you.
Come on, buddy. Let's rock and roll.
I'm gonna teach you a lesson. Come on, man.
Come on, get out of the car, man.
Come on, get out! Let's go.
Come on, let's rock and roll, man. Come on.
Hey, where you going, you little suck?
Huh Huh? Come on, man.
Ow!
Ow! God!
Ow.
Oh, yeah?
Come back, you little bastard!
Ow! Ow!
Chris?
Chris...
is home.
Chris is home.
Phyllis, where's Dad?
Your father left for the hospital
four or five hours ago.
He did what? Dammit.
That little bastard can't follow a simp...
* Jeremiah was a bullfrog
* Was a good friend of mine
* I never understood A single word he said *
* But I helped him Drink his wine *
Hasta luego, mi amigos!
* Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Yeah!
* Was a good friend of mine *
Yeah!
Oh! Whoo!
Hi, Pop.
What were you doing with my interns?
Oh, you know, hanging out.
A couple of pizzas, a couple of beers.
You ate pizza
with my interns?
It wasn't my idea. They asked me.
Hey, hey, Dad,
what happened in school today?
Nothing. School was easy.
You didn't see patients, did you?
No, no, I just went on some rounds.
Did you talk to Lori?
Wait a minute. Rounds? You went on rounds?
I gave out some pills.
Everybody feels fine.
What kind of pills, Chris?
You didn't talk to Armbruster, did you?
I didn't talk to anybody.
Anybody asked me a question I gave them a pill.
You lost, right?
Not by very much.
Dad, lost is lost.
I mean, what happened?
I won that spot.
I'm pretty sure someone cheated.
Cheated?
What are you talking about?
False start or something? Dr. Hammond.
I don't believe it.
No. Chris.
Yo.
Uh, no, who's this?
This is Chris.
Lori!
No, no, this is Chris.
Really? Um...
hold on a minute. I've just got to clear my throat.
Dad. Dad, you got to talk to her.
She thinks she's talking to you.
She is.
Yeah, but she wants to talk to me.
Hello?
No. Uh-uh.
Um, Lori, could you hold for a moment?
My father wants to speak to me.
Dad, you can't cancel.
She's your date.
Yeah, but it's our first date. I mean, if I... if I cancel now,
she may never, ever say yes again.
Ever!
Please.
What do you want me to do?
Uh, tell her you'll pick her up in 15 minutes.
15 minutes-- Tell her!
Come on, please.
Lori, I'll pick you up
in 15 minutes.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, what a guy.
Thanks, really.
You know, I have no time to get ready.
Be back by 10.
Oh, believe me, I'll be back by 9 if I can.
No, no, no, um...
make it 11...
Right.
and, um, make sure
you have a good time.
* She never looked That good for me *
Whoo!
* I was so secure
* I didn't see it coming
* And she was Halfway out the door *
* Before I started running
* They say that love is blind *
* I didn't see the signs
Let's go!
What are you doing? It's only 9:30!
Haven't you heard enough?
These chords are all very similar.
Ow.
It's about... Oh.
You said any time.
Oh.
Here I am.
I've been wanting to do that
all night.
Me too.
Mm
Sorry, I'm normally a bit taller.
Jack...
Yeah?
Oh, Jack.
What?
This is really very special.
And you... are really very special.
I don't want you to forget that.
No. No.
You know, there is a magic between us.
It's a tenderness
and sort of a childlike caring
that I really need in my life.
Okay.
I'm learning something tonight, Jack.
I feel so free,
so unchained,
so able to feel a warm emotion
without being compelled
to perform some mindless act.
Am I right?
Because reality is so much better than fantasy.
I go around saying that all the--
Warmth is so much more valuable than heat...
My motto.
because we could just go at it, Jack,
and we will.
You know it, and I know it.
We can. Yeah, we can, we--
Right now.
Right here, right now.Yeah, we can.
Just take off all our clothes and just go at it.
Oh, yeah?
We could just be like animals,
rubbing and feeling
and touching and kissing and sucking
and eating...
Eating.
Screaming.
for hours.
Let's just do it. Do it, yeah.
Do it. Yeah.
Do it.
That would be so darn easy,
but rushing's never been our style.
Mm.
Ah.
Whew.
Jack... Huh?
Oh.
Jack.
Yeah?
Jack...
How about a drink?
You got it.
A little music?
You bet.
Whoa.
Too loud, too loud.
It's a little bright, don't you think?
Too bright? Yeah, bright.
Yeah. Bright.
Yo!
Thank you.
Yo.
Whoa.
No problem. There we go.
Almost out.
Um...
Uh
It happens every so often.
Let me just...
let's move this out of the way.
Give this a little push.
I'm uncomfortable, Jack.
I'll have this out in a jiffy.
It's getting a little late.
It's early.
Pull up another chair.
The couch.
It's out.
Let me just get this fire
completely out.
Uh, go ahead and help yourself to another beer.
I have beer at home.
Good night, Jack.
You're leaving?
JACK: See? And you still
have the shank of the evening
to do with as you wish.
Ugh!
I want out of here!
Not nearly as much as I do.
You're ruining my life.
I have got the living shit beat out of me
and it is your fault!
Oh, no, you've got the shit beat out of me!
You are screwing up my life, mister,
and I can kiss
that Chief of Staff job goodbye!
Oh!
I have had it with you, pal...
and tomorrow morning,
the woman from Northwestern has to interview me
to get you into a medical program,
and look how I look!
Why don't you leave me alone and let me lead my own life?
You've never let me lead my own life!
How can you lead your own life? You can't even lead my life.
Oh. Hi.
Uncle Earl.
You found Uncle Earl.
He's got the antidote.
Ah. Oh, thank God.
Well, he doesn't exactly
have the antidote with him...
Trigger...
but he knows where it grows,
so I guess we're going on...
a little trip.
CHRIS: Earl,
how close are we to this carrot root?
Tarot root.
How close?
Real close.
Real close? How close?
Well, maybe not absolutely close.
Where, dammit?
Death Valley.
JACK: Is this tarot root?
EARL: No, that's piccoli cacti.
Tarot root is brown.
Oh. How about this one?
Nah. Sand rot.
Tarot root is, uh, tiny.
Hey, I think I got something
that's brown and tiny.
Aah!
That's curler snake.
Looks just like tarot root.
Earl, forget the fire.
Help us look for this root.
We need the fire.
We got some cooking to do.
You're going to mix this stuff out here?
You yabboes are in a hurry to get out of each other.
Yeah.
I do have that interview with Northwestern tomorrow.
You want to go back or not?
Yes.
You see how easy it is to let school slide.
Root.
Right.
Brown and tiny! Brown and tiny!
Is this it?
Jackpot.
TRIGGER: Hey, great going, Chris.
Now, everybody squat.
Earl...
Squat, squat.
Ow!
I'm sorry, Earl. I don't squat.
Squat.
Now, everybody settle.
This is just us and the desert.
Let all your worldly cares
just blow away.
Let the wind just clean you out.
Earl, skip the mumbo jumbo. Let's get to it.
This is it.
Well, I feel damn silly.
Well, we're all damn silly in the desert...
and in the world,
whether we know it or not or whether we like it or not.
Earl...
Okay. Here we go.
Cheers.
Sometimes it takes a while.
Mumbo-jumbo. Damn!
Shit!
What does "shit" mean, Earl?
It means they've put up
some confusing signs on this highway.
Well, haven't we got any maps?
Sure.
Here.
Plenty.
Hey, there's a gas station or something.
Ah!
Great.
Great, Earl.
Anybody here?
Well, let's get back on the bus.
Excellent idea.
Somebody's in trouble.
It's one person in trouble, Earl.
Let's not make it a busful.
Doc, you'd better get in here.
It's the perfect time.
I kill him, you go to jail for it.
I think I'm gonna love it out here.
Doctor's coming. We've got a doctor.
The lady's having a baby.
She's gonna be all right.
How long has she been in labor?
Aw, hell, I don't...
Two, three hours, I guess. I don't know,
but we need a doctor.
All right, now, get some towels and some fresh water, Mr., uh...
Freemont. Thank you, kid, but I need a doctor.
You've got a doctor. Who is this kid?
He's the doctor.
Oh, shit.
This is crazy.
Okay, Freemont, come here.
Help me hold her head.
Hold her head, Freemont.
Help me out here, please.
Ow, ow, ow!
There you go. It's okay.
It's all right.
It's okay. Hang on, hang on.
A little young, aren't you?
Not as young as you think. What's your name?
Corky.
Corky, is this your first?
I've got a son.
Good, I do too.
Got the water.
I got the water.
No towels.
Well, do you have any newspapers, then?
Nope. Nope.
There's, uh, some on the bus.
I got it. I got it. I got it.
Ow.
All right, now, hold her head, Freemont.
Make her comfortable.
Everything is going just fine.
Push, Corky.
Push hard like you want this baby out of you
and into this world.
That's it. Push.
I know it hurts.
TRIGGER: Doc, I got 'em!
I got 'em, doc. I got 'em.
Lifestyle section.
Bring 'em over.
Push.
Chris, come on.
That's it, that's it.
I said, come on, Chris. Come on.
That's it, that's it, that's it.
Chris, come here. Come on, Chris.
I want you to get around back of me
and watch this. All right.
That's it. Here it comes.
That's it. That's it.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
All right, now, push, Corky.
That's it. That's it, push.
Chris, Chris, look at this.
Damn, this is...
Push, push.
Damn, is this something or what? Chris...
Chris, can you see this?
That's it. Here it comes. Here it comes.
I haven't done this in years, and it still gets me. Chris...
Chris... Um, Earl?
I'll take care of him.
There you go.
We've got a boy.
Oh. Oh.
You're gonna make one hell of a doctor
when you grow up, boy.
You okay?
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, doc, what do you say we celebrate the kid's birthday
and ditch school?
No, no. I've got Chris' interview at 10:00.
We should just make that.
Good luck. I'm going home.
No, you're not.
You are going to the hospital
to make a very brief acceptance speech
as the new Chief of Staff...
then you go home.
Chief of Staff of a major medical facility,
grounded.
Oh, Dr. Armbruster. Larry.
God.
Hi, Jack.
Didn't mean to wake you.
No. No, you didn't.
No.
I was just, uh...
catching up on a little shut-eye.
I had a rough night.
So I heard.
You heard?
I wanted to drop by and have a little chat with you
before the board meets.
I want to give it to you straight.
I'm supporting someone else for Chief of Staff.
No, please.
Oh, God, please. This isn't happening.
Larry!
Uh, Dr. Armbruster,
I mean, uh, you're making a terrible mistake.
My father...
He, uh...
I... I want this more than I can tell you.
I mean, it's the most important thing in my life.
I... I...
I mean, I...
I love medicine.
I love blood.
I really do!
Nobody's doubting your sincerity.
Hey, look...
I admire the way you said, "Screw the insurance."
Please, you don't understand.
I mean, Chief of Staff. I...
It's what my father's worked for and slaved for.
It's all he has left.
I didn't realize your father was still alive.
He won't be for long. This will kill him.
Oh, Jack, Jack. No...
Buck up, Jack.
Jack, it's all right, now.
You're still my guy.
What? What is...
Come on down to the board room
and we'll start the meeting.
What
JACK: Where would
the Northwestern interview be?
Guidance office, second floor.
Hurry up, doc.
You're 15 minutes late.
Run, doc!
It's okay.
The guidance counselor's office?
End of the hall.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You... I can't tell you.
I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right?
I... I was sliding.
I was out of control.
I'm Dr. Jack Hammond.
I'm late for an appointment.
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Hi, Jack. Janice Stenfield, Northwestern University.
I just want to know one thing.
Now, what would ever possess you to fool around with my wife?
I did not screw your wife!
I was airborne. I was out of control.
What?
Ah!
I'm back.
Oh, my God, I'm back!
Oh, I'm back,
and I want to be a doctor!
This is me. It's me!
Yes, indeed!
Here I am,
and I want to be a doctor!
I want to be a doctor!
I want to be a doc--
What? What?
I... I want to be a doctor.
I want to be a doctor.
I... I want to...
Jack... Jack, you are a doctor.
Yes.
I... What?
I just found out
that I'm not gonna be Chief of Staff.
You're not even in medical school yet.
I don't want to be in medical school.
I want to be a doctor.
I mean, my father, he wants to be a doctor, but...
I am a doctor, for God's sake.
I am a doctor! I am a doctor!
It's Chris who doesn't want to be a doctor.
Holy shit, I've gotta get out of here.
We still have a few minutes.
Hey, doc. Doc!
Trigger, Trigger, come on!
Hey, it's me. It's me. It's Chris.
Chris, you're back.
Yeah. We got to get to the hospital.
Let's go.
There you are, you little chicken shit!
Lori left me. You satisfied
Rick, I want to help you out here,
but, man, I gotta go.
I'm gonna finish what I started last night.
Wait a minute. You did this to me?
Yeah, and I'm gonna do it again too.
Look, Rick, man, I don't want to fight--
Oh, you don't want to fight now, huh, Hammond?
I'll fight you with one hand behind my back.
Come on, man!
Oh, are you afraid, little boy?
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll fight you with two hands behind my back.
What do you say?
Two?
That one was for my dad.
Doc! Trigger!
Doc! Trigger, where's the car?
Where's my car, Trigger?
Your dad brought the Jag.
Hurry up.
The Jag, right.
Run.
* Kneel down, ye sinners
* To streetwise religion
* Greed's been crowned
* The new king
* Hollywood dream teens
* Yesterday's trash queens
* Save the blessings For the final ring *
* Amen
* Take a ride On the wild side *
Look, I've got to talk to him.
Yes, Chris Hammond.
How can he not be there? I just left him.
* Under my death list
* Forward my mail to me In hell *
Position on liability insurance is dangerous
to the financial success of this hospital,
therefore, I cannot, I will not,
recommend Jack Hammond to succeed me as Chief of Staff,
but my recommendation
is for the man I know will continue...
* Liars and martyrs
* Long lost In the wishing well *
Ladies and gentlemen,
everybody seems to have a ballot
in front of them.
Take your time...
and...
vote your conscience.
* Take a ride on the wild side *
TRIGGER: A little touch-up paint.
A new front bumper.
A new rear bumper.
Well, you might as well finish her off.
You done well.
* Wild side
Where's Jack?
Would somebody get Jack?
* Name-dropping no-names Glamorize cocaine *
* Puppets with strings of gold *
* Wild side
Jack, they're, uh... they're ready.
Oh, okay.
Um... I just want to tell you that I...
I think you're a great guy,
and, um, I'm real glad I know you.
Well, tha...
Big ones, Jack.
Big ones?
Huge.
Huge?
* Take a ride On the wild side *
ARMBRUSTER: Policy stands as amended.
All right, freeze everybody!
Hold it right where you are.
All right, now, what is this?
What the hell is this?
Just shut up, moose breath.
Would someone remove this boy?
I'm Jack Hammond's kid.
My Dad wants to be Chief of Staff
more than anything...
and if he hasn't been himself lately, it's...
Well, that's because he's had a lot on his mind.
He's been helping me with school and...
and trying to get me into college,
and I've kind of let him down, but my dad knows medicine.
I mean, he spends all his spare time
here at this hospital,
and he's always... always bringing home those...
those boring medical magazines.
He doesn't do it because he has to.
He does it because he loves it,
because he cares so much about...
He cares so much about his patients and his work.
He cares so much about me.
You guys have all seen him work. My dad is a great doctor.
You should have seen him out in the desert.
Under pressure, he was... he was so calm and cool.
He was so together,
and for you to keep him from being Chief of Staff
because of yesterday,
well, that's not fair, because it wasn't his fault.
It wasn't even him. It was me.
God, I would love to explain this,
but I can't. You wouldn't understand.
You've just got to take my word for it.
By the way, it...
it wasn't my dad
who was screwing around with your wife.
It was me.
Sid, read the name of the new Chief of Staff.
The new Chief of Staff is...
Hal Gilden.
No, you... This is so wrong. Didn't you hear me?
Didn't you hear what I said?
All right, you can leave. You can get out.
Didn't you hear what I said? You can't do this.
Get out!
Please, guys, you...
Dr. Armbruster, I, uh...
I need to make a very public apology.
It won't change things.
I'm hoping it will, because I have been an ass.
I've been disrespectful to a very important person.
Well, and if I'm forgiven,
I promise to make amends.
Um...
I've changed in...
some ways and I...
I hope to change more.
ARMBRUSTER: I'll have to think about that.
I'll really have to think about that.
Why?
This really has nothing to do with you.
Listen, Jack, about the Chief of Staff job...
Oh, you can shove the Chief of Staff job.
This is about me and my son.
Anything left on my credit card?
Enough to get us home.
Come on, let's go home.
Yeah. Oh, uh, sorry.
Uh, my son and I
have some celebrating to do.
I'm celebrating being a doctor
and my son is celebrating not.
I presume you drove my car.
You want to drive us home?
Uh...
I think I'll grab a cab.
Dad, about your car...
What?
Well, you know, I was a very forgiving person...
when I was your age.
Hey, guys. Look what I brought.
Want another shot?
Trigger... Trigger...
I'll throw it away.
Rick...
I have a little present for you.
Do you have insurance, son?
No, dickhead.
[RICK AND ARMBRUSTER SCREAMING]
* Some people have Some people have not *
* Some got a little And some got a lot *
* Poor people crying 'Cause they ain't got a dime *
* They're left standing In a welfare line *
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest They ain't got any *
* The taxman says You got to pay more money *
* When you're already broke
* You know That just ain't funny *
* You got to rob Peter To pay back Paul *
* You used To stand up straight *
* But now you got to crawl
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest They ain't got any *
* Nobody knows you When your money's gone *
* Your future looks dark When your credit's blown *
* You got to hustle To stay alive *
* You got to be on top If you want to survive *
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest They ain't got any *
* Hard times In the land of plenty *
* Some got it all
* And the rest
* They ain't got any
* Hard times In the land of plenty *